13th March, 2004 // Honduras
Page was Shut down for a while
January 26 2004 – San Antonio, Copan
It’s been a month since my last real entry and I never did get back to revealing the details of the Costa Rica trip, either. Today is my first official day back in site since I left here December 27th and it is HOT!!! I tell ya what, I am starting to feel the loneliness that I have only heard about from other volunteers up to this point, and I have technically only been alone since 6am (It is 3:05pm now) this morning, when Daniel left to head back to San Pedro Sula. I come back to find that my other good friend I had made here in San Antonio has moved to Santa Rosa (where the Peace Corps house is) where she has a better job and can study at the University there. So, what do I do? I need to just dive into work, but it’s hard. I feel like this last month has been an emotional roller-coaster. Well, maybe not even just emotional, just an all around roller-coaster. I have gone from wanting to give up on Peace Corps to wanting to give it my all to total confusion so I just hang in there, wanting to give up on Honduras and Hondurans alike to trying to be optimistic about at least affecting one persons life, thinking that I am done dating to I could picture myself being single when I get back in another year to well, I’ll give him more time because to be honest, I think my decision of thinking I will be single when I return is based purely on materialistic thinking, realizing how much more time I need to spend in my site to wanting to visit my fellow volunteers all over the country, wanting to be a Spanish teacher in Costa Rica to using my degrees somewhere in South Florida. At a recent therapy session (I can admit it), my therapist told me that I am obsessive-compulsive in my thinking pattern. Ya think? Peace Corps isn’t helping this little “disease” either…I have all the time in the world to be alone with my thoughts and even more so now. I just hope it doesn’t make me crazy, which I don’t think is too far out there.
I think you are going to get the slack end of it, but after being back from Costa Rica for over two weeks now, I just don’t have the desire to write all about it anymore. But, just the basics…it is VERY beautiful, I can’t wait to go back someday and I recommend to anyone to visit at any chance they get. It is a clean (remember, I am comparing to Honduras) country with very friendly people. When going through the Peace Corps application process, I secretly hoped to get assigned to Costa Rica. Once there, I realized I could never do it. I would spend all my time on the beach and not get anything done! Granted, I am out of my site here quite a bit, but I have at least accomplished a few things and still have time to accomplish more.
Classes start in about two weeks, so I will be very busy once I get started there, but I also have work at the Municipality to do, too. Just need to get updated on what’s going on once I talk to the Mayor later this week. I overslept this morning when I could have caught a few minutes with him. Damn pills. See below.
I think I am allergic to this country and for this, I swear that Daniel’s family thinks I am always sick. I am constantly sneezing (to the point of blood most of the time) and this frequently leads to the itchy throat, watery eyes, irritated ears and constant sniffling. Not fun! Nor attractive, for that matter. I take Benadryl, but there is a limit to how many pills you can take in a day, right? Maybe I should finally report this problem to Peace Corps? I am just afraid they are going to think I am a hypochondriac. I swear I didn’t have these health problems before I arrived. Up until now, I have dealt with the dust allergy, what I swear were laxatives in my food (remember the “Gorda Nazi”?), Giardia (aka Parasites in my stomach), Dengue, body aches, and numerous colds. All this in less than a year…at least I missed the pink eye epidemic.
Can you tell I am out of the Honeymoon stage of my service? Some days I feel like you will see me (permanently) sooner than May 2005 like by the time summer rolls around and there are others when I feel that you won’t see me (permanently) again until Daniel graduates from college in 2006. Take it day by day, right?
For now, I just want to lay on my couch, watch the mosquitoes fly around, look at all the dust on my floor and day dream. Ah, happy living in Honduras.
One last thought…I live in San Antonio. To get to San Antonio, you have to pass through Florida. On the other side of San Antonio, lies El Paraiso, which borders with Guatemala. I am the only Peace Corps volunteer in this area. The closest ones are about an hour away in a much different area. My boss wants to put volunteers in both Florida and El Paraiso. Due to security reasons, she cant since there isn’t clearance in these two towns. Um, hello…I am here in the middle of these two towns, one of which I have to travel through to get to well, anywhere. She has no plans to move me to another location since San Antonio has clearance. What exactly this clearance consists of, I have no idea. In talking to Daniel and his family, now, they may be biased since they are from Florida, they say that of the three Florida is the safest, El Paraiso is very unsafe and dangerous and San Antonio isn’t much better. They don’t like that he travels here to visit me and stays the night as well since it is so dangerous and on the highway which actually runs in front of my house, there are parts where there is no one or nothing around and people get carjacked. I mean, it does say something if even the Hondurans don’t like to travel here, right? I have yet to see any of this danger of San Antonio, though. I feel safe here; I just don’t like hearing these things from people who I know are being honest with me. At least it keeps me on guard. Daniel actually would prefer it if I got a site change, but I told him that until I actually see or know of something happening, that I am here to stay…in San Antonio, at least.
© Copyright 2000-2010
|
